TABLE PREDICTIONS FOR THE PREMIERSHIP:
Champions:
Arsenal -- It's lightning fast, total football on a huge pitch.
What's not to like? Wenger a super genius once again.
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The Rest of the lot:
Chelsea -- a train wreck at the cash machine queue. A Bridge too Far.
Liverpool -- Gerrard forces lackluster team mates to win just enough
Manchester United -- Too few goals, too many red cards
Everton -- a competent return to quality by Moyes' Blue Scousers
Blackburn Rovers -- No surprise, Sparky's a good gaffer
Tottenham Hotspur -- Jol can't find the answer
Newcastle United -- Make late noise to make it look halfway decent.
West Ham United -- Pardew as next England manager? Ha Ha Ha.
Charlton Athletic -- No drop off from Curbs era.
Manchester City -- Boring is good. Really.
Aston Villa -- Randy Lerner mistakes Prem for Asda, asks for refund.
Bolton Wanderers -- Not as good as they think. But still safe.
Portsmouth -- Pensioners as footballers works a treat.
Reading -- Employ principal of low expectations all the way to safety.
Fulham -- Chris Coleman sent to Women's Coordinates.
Middlesbrough -- Southgate out of depth, gasps air at right moment.
Relegated:
Wigan Athletic -- Last year becomes vague recollection.
Sheffield United -- Early promise doesn't come through.
Watford -- You must be joking, right?
--- Now for this weekend's action ---
Premiership
Arsenal - Aston Villa: No one comes into the Emirates and wins. No One! A beam of intense light is seen to be shining on Ashburton Grove before the match. Goals by Henry and debutante Tomas Rosicky open the Gunner account. Tidy, 2-0 result.
Manchester United - Fulham: With Malbranque sent to Men's Wear to hawk Saville Row knock-offs, it's all about Luis Boa Morte. United can't find the goal. Ever. 0-1 to Harrod's.
Reading - Middlesbrough: Having not strengthened the club over the close, Reading have no choice but to play the ever popular 1-8-2 formation. Boro have no answer. The Thames valley is thus in need of fumigation after the incident. 0-0.
West Ham United - Charlton Athletic: A punch up was going well at Upton Park, but then football intervenes and Sheringham's weak goal before the interval is equalized by the mercurial Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink. United, with an injury time penalty (Marlon Harewood), take the points and pints.
--- Championship ---
Barnsley - Southampton: Soton open the scoring and keep finding the way. 1-3 to the Saints.
Leeds United - Cardiff City: Brutality out back of the train shed matched by gutter fights in midfield. 2-0 to Leeds on late goals.
Plymouth Argyle - Sheffield Wednesday: A dour, goalless draw in the South Coast sunshine.
Southend United - Sunderland: Final nail for Niall. Humiliated by newcomers, Southend. 1-0 to the seaside hacks.
2 comments:
Champs: (must.....find......strength.... to type.........this) Chelsea
Arsenal closes the gap and ends up as no. 2, but they continue to be atrocious facing Chelski and ManUre. Just can't win it all that way. Prediction is cloudy though, as we have 2 opposite worst cases - 1) we don't sell Cole and Reyes and 2) we do sell but too late to buy immediate quality. Long run we are fine - say it after me, "In Wenger We Trust".
I have predicted ManU's midtable slip for many years and it never happens. So I will stop predicting it and make it come true.
Down:
Watford
Sheff United
Aston Villa - total wreck
Great predictions, as per the norm.
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